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Boss Vs Wife

Two things in life that are difficult to achieve:  To plant your idea in someone's head.  To plant someone's money in your own pocket.  The one who succeeds in the former- is a 'teacher' . The one who succeeds in the latter- is a 'boss' . The one who succeeds in both is a 'wife' .   The one who fails in both is a 'husband' Source:  http://www.laughitout.com/

Young Love

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" "Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark." "How about transportation?" the father asked. "I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." "We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

Funny Bits

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow ... that was fun!" I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! Wouldn't you know it .... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Teacher & Class

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS : Maria! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD : H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O! ...